As I sit here drunk and ready to barf, Smartbomb asked me to write a short description about myself so here goes. I don't care about anything in life but playing USAF and drinking massive quantities of booze. I am unemployed and haven't worked for a decade. I have found a rather questionable means of supporting myself through your tax dollars and never pay taxes because I am against it. I hate the federal government and was injured while on the job so they are paying for it now. I was involved in a carrier accident during the Gulf war because the dummies that maintained my aircraft forgot half the bolts that mounted the starboard engine to the airframe along with a missing bulkhead. When it broke loose, the turbine exploded and a piece of it went through my spine and also killed the copilot, not to mention destroying the plane (about $55 million of your tax dollars). I can tell you it's no fun punching out at 40,000 feet into the freezing cold air with 3rd degree burns while in agonizing pain. Landing in salt water with open wounds was fun too.

If I'm not sleeping, I'll be getting drunk and playing USAF because I don't care about anything else. Many of you know me under a different callsign but my squad sucks so I like to play under this callsign from time to time. The only hint I will give you about my true identity is that I can kill everyone in my squad at the same time and have tried for a year to teach you how to fly competitively. It goes in one ear and out the other so I give up! I am like most of the people that play this game. We have nothing better in life to live for so we sit in front of our computers playing this dumb game day in and day out, hour after boring hour. The major difference is I am confined to a wheelchair. I am a miserable pathetic sight, all slouched down behind my PC with a joystick in my right hand and a tall glass of booze in the other. One thing I can do well is play this kids game with other unambitious adults that find this to be the meaning of life. I mean lets get real here! At least half of you are older than 35 and are on JCN almost every single day! I guess EA never thought this thing would wind up in the hands of a bunch of losers but it has. So for my special tribute to EA for not listening to me complain about hacked planes ruining the game and even telling those fags how to stop it, I decided that the Lazy_Drunk would fly murderous rampages in SCO's full hacked trim, decimating everything in his path.

By the way, the simulation model is ridiculously incorrect. The blackouts assume you are a fat slob trying to fly in a 20 G turn without a pressure suit. Hell! The fastest plane barley breaks mach 1! Its soooooo fake! They could have done better. I doubt they will ever put out a USAF2 because of the type of people that play it. People like us! Don't feel sorry for my meager existence. People like us are destined to this type of life…. drunk, unemployed or having nothing better to do in life for various reasons. What really cracks me up are all the wannabe's in the lobby. I can tell you that living on the edge can ruin you physically and mentally. It requires all your time, dedication and effort. There is room for nothing else. People don't care about your efforts and the rewards must come from within. So be glad you are not a real pilot in Uncle Sam's slavedom, because they own your ass!

If you want to be as good as me, look at the flight tips on this site. They are quite good although poorly written. Just kidding Smart!

Smart, make me a hack that has a button that will mix matter and antimatter together in vessels contained in the fuselage. The ensuing explosion should vaporize the entire solar system and create a massive black hole in space. This would be fitting given all that I just talked about. Suck it all into nothingness.....

LD